Warning: Nudity

Helping Uncle Troy Win a Close Game

Saturday night, Uncle Troy's Mt. Juliet High School Golden Bears were in a dogfight with Hunter's Lane, one of the best boys basketball teams in Middle Tennessee. After several second-half ties and lead changes, I knew that I had to do my part to help Uncle Coach pull out the upset victory on the road. So, like a true fan, I tore off my shirt and wrote "MJHS" across my chest. My antics were exactly what the team needed to get the 51-46 win.

Civil Disobedience

I am tired of mommy and daddy telling me where and when to sleep. Am I not a human being? Even the cats can sleep where and when they want! I had been protesting my parents' oppressive bedtime and nap-time policies simply by not sleeping, but punishing myself in this manner has become physically exhausting, so I have devised a new tactic.

Yesterday, when mommy put me down for a nap in the crib, I dove head-first out of the miniature prison cell, making it clear that I would not be napping in the human equivalent of a chicken coop. After I calmed down—I have a short temper when it comes to injustice—mommy laid me down in bed and instructed me to go to sleep. Honestly, the bed is rather comfortable, but I will not sleep somewhere simply because an authority figure tells me to. This is a matter of principle.

So, once mommy left the room, I got out of bed and searched for an alternative location for my afternoon nap. I settled on the bottom shelf of my bookcase, which I first had to clear off. It wasn't quite as comfortable as the bed, but it was about the right size:

To quote Henry David Thoreau:

I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward. It is not so desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right.

Maybe I Smashed Too Many Ornaments

Sometime around Thanksgiving, mommy and daddy redecorated the house. Most prominent among the new decorations was a large, fake tree adorned with dozens of cheap toys. It was great. But for some reason daddy un-did all of the decorating yesterday. He even took down the tree! I think his seemingly rash decision to restore the house's ordinary and boring decor had something to do with the multicolored, glass balls that had been hanging on the tree. I think I smashed about ten of them, but daddy punished me each time by getting out the vacuum cleaner (that is, the "evil machine of death"). Anyway, you can hardly blame me for breaking those glass ornaments; those things are paper-thin. You can smash one of those things by exhaling too quickly.

In my opinion removing the tree and the other decorations was entirely unfair; but I'll have to be content with the roomful of new toys I got for Christmas.