Everybody's Got Something to Hide 'Cept for Me and My Monkeys

I recently adopted six monkeys: (left to right) Purple Monkey, Blue Monkey, Green Monkey, Yellow Monkey, Orange Monkey, and Red Monkey. The monkeys were previously in mommy and daddy's custody, but they were being neglected and occasionally abused by kitty cats. (Apparently, mommy won the monkeys as a prize for dancing at a punk rock show. I understand that mommy wants to put her past behind her, but the monkeys shouldn't have to suffer.)

Raising monkeys is a constant challenge. Blue Monkey and Purple Monkey are always acting up and rarely do what I tell them to do; I often have to resort to putting them in time out. Red Monkey is always going potty. While I don't mind taking him to the potty, I don't do diapers. Yellow Monkey and Orange Monkey just have a lot of energy. They always want to go on the slide. They're a lot of fun, but they wear me out. Green Monkey is generally agreeable, especially considering that I left him in the car for about a week.